


When All You Have is a Hammer

by tsukinofaerii



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
Genre: Object Penetration, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, sentient object
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:30:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1300039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukinofaerii/pseuds/tsukinofaerii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not an obsession. Jan's might be sneaking into Thor's room to use his hammer as a magical dildo, but it's not an obsession. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When All You Have is a Hammer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunspot (unavoidedcrisis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidedcrisis/gifts).



> To UnavoidedCrisis, who requested Hammer Porn for her birthday aaages ago. Enjoy, bb!
> 
> A direct sequel to Hammer Time, but you don't have to read that to follow. There's not enough plot for that.

It wasn't what Jan would call an _obsession_. It was just that things had been quiet since they'd gotten back from Asgard and Hank was, well, _Hank_. Wherever their relationship had been going before he'd left, it wasn't anymore. Jan wasn't sure she wanted it to. They were too different in too many important ways, and while some people could manage a relationship that way, she wasn't one of them. 

And then there was Thor. And his hammer. And his not-a-euphemism hammer. 

She liked Thor. He was a good friend, a good man, a good brother on the field of battle, as he would say. He—and his hammers—had been there for her when she needed it. Jan didn't think she was in love with him, either, which actually helped. It kept things straight in her head. 

So it definitely wasn't an obsession that was the reason why she was sneaking into Thor's room at four in the afternoon wearing nothing more than a bathrobe. The God himself was off in a training session with Clint. Since Tony had decreed a No Mythical Indestructible Weapons of Phenomenal Power in the Training Room rule until he had some new reinforcement built into the walls, Mjolnir wouldn't be with him. 

Jan wasn't really sure why the hammer did it for her. She had dildos— _lots_ of dildos—and even a decent replica that she'd picked up at a convention. None of them were the same. Maybe it was magic, or some weird headtrick she was playing on herself. It didn't really matter. What did matter was that Mjolnir was sitting in its usual stand by Thor's bed, handle up like it was waiting for her. She bit her lip. 

"Hi," she whispered, kneeling down to rub her fingertips across the metal surface of the hammer, then danced them up the handle. It could have been her imagination, but she thought it warmed for her touch faster than just body heat could really allow for. Her fingertips tingled. "Miss me?"

God, she was probably crazy. But she was also really wet, cunt tight and achy with need, and as long as she wasn't trying to burn down Manhattan or anything she could deal. 

She slipped the bathrobe off, running her hands down her body. Her breasts were a little too tender to squeeze the way she liked, one of them bruised from a run-in she'd had with a wall earlier that week, so she moved down faster than usual. Her fingers ran over her slit, pressed down on her clit with a hard rub. It sent a sharp shock through her that made her hips roll into the touch. She was already more than wet enough just from arousal, never mind the prep she'd done for anal, but she took her time. There was no rush. Thor would be in training for _hours_. 

One hand braced on the bed, Jan leaned forward and rocked into her fingers. When she closed her eyes, it almost felt like she was being watched. Admired, even. The feeling spread over her skin like a flush. It made her feel daring as she spread herself open, slipped one, two fingers in with a twist that made her gasp. 

Without realizing, her grip on the bed slid down, until she was leaning on Mjolnir instead. The metal surface was entirely warm now, shimmering in the overhead light. It tingled against her palm, almost expectantly. 

"Damn it," Jan muttered. Two quickies instead of one long one would have to do it. She didn't have the patience for more. 

Rising up, she let the tip of the handle slide over her cunt, getting nice and slick. The leather thong on the end should have been uncomfortable, but she could barely feel it. It folded right into the leather wrapping on the handle like it wasn't even there. Rolling her hips, she dipped down, taking in just the first few inches. Her back arched as it slid in her with just the slightest stretch. 

Another roll, another few inches, and then again she'd taken as much as she could. She had to hold on to the edge of the bed to keep upright, arms folded so she could pillow her head. Groaning, she rocked down onto it again, toes curling. Her bruised breast pressed against the bed when she leaned forward too far. The sudden bite of pain arched between her breast and her cunt, sparking stars behind her eyes. 

Taking a breath, Jan started riding it in earnest, bobbing up and down. The texture of the leather braiding scraped just enough to send shivers through her, a wave of heat and urgency that none of her toys had given her. She slid one hand down between her legs, rubbing frantically at her clit. Any thought of taking her time slipped away as the pleasure crawled up her spine, took over her thoughts. She came with a sob, grinding herself down while orgasm crashed through her. Then all she could do was lean forward and pant, try to get her thigh muscles working to go again. 

She was so in her own head that she completely missed the sound of the door opening. "Janet?" 

Jan flailed back, but Mjolnir was so steady that she couldn't move far. Hurriedly, she climbed to her feet, grabbing up her robe to clutch to her front. "Thor!" 

The God himself stood in the—thankfully closed—doorway, brows drawn in faint puzzlement. "What are you..." His eyes went from her face to the still-slick handle of his weapon. "I see." 

A blush crawled up her face. "Thor, I—"

"Nay, fair Janet; there is no need to explain thyself." He held up one massive palm to cut her off. "I see that you have needs which have been left unattended, much to my shame as your friend. May I?" 

"Sure?" 

Moving slowly, like he was afraid she'd shrink and get away through the vents, Thor took the bathrobe from her hands and set it aside. Then he picked her up and set her back on the bed, spreading her legs with gentle hands. They were so big that they could nearly encircle her waist, something Jan thought only happened in the least plausible of romance novels.

Then again, which was less plausible, a romance novel, or a God apparently about to let her play with his hammer? Life as a superhero was weird. 

Thor's hands ran up the insides of her thighs, hard calluses scratching at her skin. Sighing, Jan leaned back on her elbows, watching as he leaned forward to curl his tongue over her still-sensitive clit. He touched her almost sweetly, long slow laps that made her sink back onto the mattress in a puddle. When Mjolnir pressed against her, her hips rose, pressing down greedily. 

Because Thor was a sweetheart, he didn't tease. He pushed Mjolnir in, balancing the head in one massive palm as he worked it in her. It picked up speed, until he was all but ramming the handle in her cunt. By contrast, his tongue never faltered or sped up to match the hammer, even when she started rocking down onto Mjolnir with desperate little noises. The difference in pace had her split, desperate and confused. It didn't take long at all before she was coming again, knocking aside his helmet to clutch at his hair. 

She felt Thor smile against her, a little scrape of stubble where he kissed the inside of her thigh. "Would you have more of me, m'lady?" 

" _God_ , yes." Sitting up, Jan scooted herself back, making a little noise of discontent when the handle slid free. "How do you feel about anal?"

"I..." Something hungry passed through Thor's eyes. "I am not opposed. If you are prepared..?" 

"Believe me, I'm prepared." Using Thor to _lift_ , Jan moved Mjolnir to the middle the bed, back to handle-up position, and immediately seated herself back on it, rolling until she was comfortable. Something that felt like a little stroke of lightning nearly got her off again. It felt excited, which was ridiculous, but she didn't care because it was doing things to her. If she had to accept that a hammer could be excited to get those things done, so be it. 

Jan looked over her shoulder. She grinned when she saw Thor's obvious hard-on. _Dick of the Gods_. "Come on, don't leave us hanging." To emphasize, she slid down the handle, riding it. Her hand slid back to press two of her fingers to her ass, which was still slick with more than enough lube. She'd done more than taking her time in prepping, since taking a magical hammer in the ass wasn't something to do carelessly, no matter how horny you were. 

Not that a magical "hammer" was that much easier, she remembered, watching Thor undress. He was, as always and as he would be forever, _huge_. And that included his dick, which she didn't even want to know the measurements for or she might panic, and then she'd definitely never get it. 

_Thank God he knows how to be careful with it,_ she thought, licking her lips. 

Thor slipped up behind her, leaving a kiss against her shoulder. His knees slid between hers, parting to make room for Mjolnir. She could feel his cock right up against her ass, hard and hot. In her cunt, the hammer felt like it was throbbing in time with a pulse that wasn't hers. "Are you ready?" he asked softly, one hand over her stomach to steady her.

Keeping on hand on her hip and the other on her stomach, Thor lifted her up until the head of his cock brushed against her asshole, pulling her fingers out. So carefully that she could have cried, he lowered her back down. She'd prepped herself so well that that there wasn't any pain, just the tight feeling of being spread open. Thor still took his time, working into her in such slow increments that she could have cried in frustration. 

When Thor finally, _finally_ started actually fucking her, it was just as slow as everything else. His hands stayed on her hips, working her up and down on himself and Mjolnir. Everything felt stretched and tight and she was _throbbing_ , but none of it was enough. For a wild half-second, Jan wondered if he was actually trying to kill her. Murder through frustration.

Settling her hands over Thor's, Jan rolled her head back and slammed down. Pleasure vibrated through her in a thunder clap. Groaning, she did it again, not giving Thor a chance to catch up. "Just sit there, pretty boy," she gasped, rolling her eyes to look up at his shocked expression. He really was adorable sometimes. When he wasn't teasing her. "I've got this."

Jan rode the two of them the same way she'd taken just the hammer before--relentlessly, not giving herself a chance to breathe. They had her stretched wide enough that it seemed like she could feel everything. The uncanny _awareness_ of the hammer, the organic heat of Thor's cock. Her thighs started burning from the workout. It was a delicious sort of burn, the promise of an ache later that would keep her remembering what had happened for a solid week.

Eventually, Thor got into the swing of things. He cupped her breasts, squeezing and rolling them together. His lips covered the back of her neck and shoulders in kisses, because even when he was being ridden like a prize pony he was still a romantic. Jan laughed at the thought, and it caused her to squeeze down, turning the laugh into a moan. Desperately, she did it again, reaching down to rub at her clit. Her whole body went tight at the increased sensations. One more time and she was coming, head thrown back against Thor's shoulder.

The last orgasm left her gasping and limp, completely and utterly done for. She sighed, eyes sliding closed as she sagged back against Thor's broad chest. "Come on, you next."

Of course, the roll of his hips wasn't nearly as hard as she'd been, but he worked his cock in her in a steady pace. Jan's clit gave a sad, almost desperate throb of attempted arousal. She ignored it in favor of clinging to Thor and soaking in everything. He came with a grunt, hands tightening on her, cock slowing to gentle thrusts. He rested his forehead against her shoulder and took a deep breath. 

Reaching up, Jan ran her fingers through Thor's long hair. His heart was pounding away against her back, in time with the living pulse of Mjolnir in her cunt. She found herself listening as they both slowed and faded back to resting.

Once she could breathe again, Jan turned her head to kiss Thor's ridiculously cut cheekbone. "Thanks." 

He shifted so his chin was against her shoulder, and his smile completely visible. He looked like a sleepy puppy, especially when she ran her fingers through his hair again and he leaned into the touch. "You are most welcome."


End file.
